I think I should start getting around to posting somewhat frequently. So I guess I’ll start here

How I've Been

Okay I guess?

Physically I've been about the same, with some minor pain and sickness. I got a sore throat but it’s healing well and there’s been no major crises so far.

Mentally I've been down. It seems the world is tipping more and more towards outrage, exclusion, and apathy to "lesser". I could recap a lot of news but I think most know. And in a way I think us all having to nod along and not being that surprised by new developments is depressing.

Lately I’ve been anxious and feeling like I’m nuisance to the people around me. Unfortunately much of the people I immediately know are not stellar communicators at best and incredibly ornery or even catty at worst, so dealing with my feeling is something to be desired. But I’m slowly working on interacting with people again.

So yeah. Anxiety flare ups and irl stress. At least I've been moving and going outside consistently (for now, the amount of people filming strangers in secret for clicks + the meta glasses are creeping me out).

New art soon??

I’ve posted a doodle I made on Pink Sea. After that, maybe. I have a lot of drafts in various stages so if there’s interest I can post wip dumps at the very least.

In terms of development my focus hasn’t changed from the past few years: relearning art fundamentals and applying more theory & techniques. It’s really important to me to not only make things I’d like but be able to see my progress. I’m currently doing gray scale painting to fix my lighting and shapes. Actually, they are coming out way better than I thought I could do… Which in of itself is motivating

After that my goal is improving my work speed. I’m trying to figure out if sketching to line-art or coloring to line-art is faster for me. I think one is better based on the task/idea and my mood. For example, a complicated pose might be better if I block-in the shape first, but a very simple pose (think of the kinds that go viral on socials) might be better sketched. Mood being a factor is not unexpected but not good; it’d be a time waster to make two workflows for how I feel, especially when moods change (in the end I guess I have to build stronger diligence/resilience).

Studying is going good, speed training is not. I have paintings I wanted to finish in a week still being worked on :( But I learned that when I’m drawing without anything in mind I draw faster. It feels counter-intuitive but I have to forget my goals while I practice…

Okay, what about comms?

If you've been checking my page, you may have noticed that I've deleted some blog posts including my statements about commission work. Basically, I'm still interested in comms but am doing some serious reevaluation.

One, I want to stay by my own word and offer a service as good as I can. This means not only improving my technical skills but streamlining my workflow and getting all necessary legal ready.

Two, I understand that I have a very small audience and the marketing/competition is fierce. I'll have to do a lot to earn peoples' attention and trust...

Three, I need to mentally prepare myself for that responsibility. My ongoing stress already makes it harder to draw, it would be dumb to wave it off and dive into handling other people’s time and business like that.

Point three is esp. tedious considering I want to return to college and get a degree so I can become a mental health counselor. With those in mind, how many commissions could I realistically take on and for how long?

If you have already been disappointed my radio silence, you’d likely be upset as commissioner if I started now and I’m wary of that. So if you were waiting I’m sorry, but please wait longer. I will also take down the survey as it’s done as much as it could...

More collabs/events?

I really want to!

ArtFight main event is coming soon and I have some good inspirations to work with. However I'm not sure I'll be play considering the strangeness of the rules (Debate of whether tracing 3d mannequins should be allowed, guide-lining is or isn’t tracing, no photo bash or collages for copyright concern BUT you can use photos without crediting the author, etc. ) + the moderation being very disorganized. They rolled back some of their rules/wording and listened to feedback, but I’m concerned they needed backlash before thinking they needed feedback? Also maybe it’s just me, but some of the wording felt like they didn’t want to change anything. Hmm.

NG has a few collabs I’m eyeing but I’m not sure I’m cut out for + the existing problems I already talked about. They’re all very exciting though, I’ll probably try the more low-stakes ones? Art trades would be fun while I have the time/energy.

I will try to put out something come July regardless. It will probably look different due to lots of experimentation but I hope you can enjoy it…!

Your OCs are looking lonely..

I know, I’ve been thinking about them promise! I’ve been writing and touching up on their backstories, I just don’t think NG cares about writing so much so I haven’t posted anything. This is another area I want to expand on this year and hopefully soon!

Two new OCs are getting a ref sheets, and Denee/Exu are getting soft-redesigns and sheets as well. Please look forward to it (^w^)b

“I’m just here for the bilingual refs”

I did some touching up but haven’t had the time to properly research and add any major changes. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s too many reputable free services I can recommend at this time, and services catering to non-English speakers need priority. I have limited experience in this area so any assistance would be helpful! You can leave a comment under post, thank you!